Window Shopping

I have this incredible ability to shop without spending any money. I am the type of shopper that has to get the best bargain possible. My husband hates me. I can spend an hour at the store just selecting one item, and I usually spend hours before that researching what I will be buying. Luckily, I have gotten lazy – I no longer go to the store if I can help it. Instead, I shop ONLINE. I highly recommend this to anyone who has a spending habit.

Here's how I do it:

1. I get the urge to buy something.
   
2. I immediately give in to that urge and boot up the computer.
   
3. I start researching.
   
4. Hours/days later, I am still researching.
   
5. When I finally find the most bargain-centered online store/catalog, I start putting stuff into my basket.
   
6. I log off, and then second guess that I'm really, truly getting the best bargain.
   
7. I get back online and research some more.
   
8. By this time, I am sick to death of the product, the computer, and of shopping.
   
9. I log off again, and pick up a good book.
   
10. I never buy what I intended to buy.
    

Sure, I waste a lot of time, but think of all the money that I'm saving!

Here's my latest example. I want to move. I really, really, really, REALLY want to move. I hate living here. I hate knowing that my oldest has picked out the dregs of humanity to hang with, and that there is no end to the bottomless gutter from which she selects these people in the Wild and Wonderful state of West Virginia. Sure, there are some fabulous people here, but does she want anything to do with any of them? Did I mention that I want to move?

So, I've been house hunting online. For the past month. I am pretty sure that I will vomit if I have to see the phrase "realtor.com" one more time. So, I have just saved us thousands of dollars by not putting money down on those fantastic bargain homes in San Tan Valley, Arizona.

Instead, I've decided to auction off my daughter to the highest bidder- online of course! Let the bidding/shopping begin!