Proud Momma!

I am now the mother of an official High School Dropout. I could not be prouder.

Could someone please pass the Xanax?

Window Shopping

I have this incredible ability to shop without spending any money. I am the type of shopper that has to get the best bargain possible. My husband hates me. I can spend an hour at the store just selecting one item, and I usually spend hours before that researching what I will be buying. Luckily, I have gotten lazy – I no longer go to the store if I can help it. Instead, I shop ONLINE. I highly recommend this to anyone who has a spending habit.

Here's how I do it:

1. I get the urge to buy something.
   
2. I immediately give in to that urge and boot up the computer.
   
3. I start researching.
   
4. Hours/days later, I am still researching.
   
5. When I finally find the most bargain-centered online store/catalog, I start putting stuff into my basket.
   
6. I log off, and then second guess that I'm really, truly getting the best bargain.
   
7. I get back online and research some more.
   
8. By this time, I am sick to death of the product, the computer, and of shopping.
   
9. I log off again, and pick up a good book.
   
10. I never buy what I intended to buy.
    

Sure, I waste a lot of time, but think of all the money that I'm saving!

Here's my latest example. I want to move. I really, really, really, REALLY want to move. I hate living here. I hate knowing that my oldest has picked out the dregs of humanity to hang with, and that there is no end to the bottomless gutter from which she selects these people in the Wild and Wonderful state of West Virginia. Sure, there are some fabulous people here, but does she want anything to do with any of them? Did I mention that I want to move?

So, I've been house hunting online. For the past month. I am pretty sure that I will vomit if I have to see the phrase "realtor.com" one more time. So, I have just saved us thousands of dollars by not putting money down on those fantastic bargain homes in San Tan Valley, Arizona.

Instead, I've decided to auction off my daughter to the highest bidder- online of course! Let the bidding/shopping begin!

Happy Holidays 2011!


Dear Family and Friends,

Because I am a low-energy, procrastinating mother of 6, this online Christmas/New Year letter is the best I can do (plus it saves on stamps, thus fulfilling my penny pincher side)!

This was the year of big decisions for our family. Madeleine, our oldest, turned 17 in February. She decided to spend her sophomore year living in Morrison, TN with my parents, who bought a farm there (literally, not figuratively). After the school year ended, she moved back home with us. As getting to school has been such a struggle for her, due to medical issues, she is currently on homebound. She has decided that Job Corps is the best pathway for jumpstarting her future, and has applied to the EMT program in Cleveland, OH, where she will earn her high school diploma and become a certified EMT. She is dating a wonderful young man, who has decided to spend 2 years serving as a missionary.

Steven turned 16 in May, and is working on his sophomore year of high school. He has also decided that academics are not his thing, but would instead like to enroll in the military and fly airplanes *gasp*! We are lucky that there is a program through the high school where he can test out of academic subjects and instead earn certifications at the technical school in the next town. Steven has also decided to enter the world of dating, albeit car-less, and is dating a very nice and drama-free girl from our town.

Allison turned 14 in May (sending her parents in denial about their age). She has decided, with her parents input, that the school system has little to offer her, and has been “home-schooled” for the past 2 years. This consists of her eating whenever she wants, flipping through some highly academic books, such as the dictionary and her mother’s old Organic Chemistry and Biology textbooks, and drawing letters on her magnetic doodle board. She is still a BIG FAN of music and always wants her “Song!” playing. She has maintained her current health and seems as happy as any other teen-age girl!

Eric turned a big one-o in September. He has decided that there are so many activities he would like to do, such as football, basketball, soccer, gymnastics, and hip-hop, that he can’t make up his mind! He took gymnastics for a few months last year, with his younger brother, and was invited to be on the team, but that idea was too much for him, and he decided to stop going at all (much to his mother’s chagrin). He currently is working hard in his fourth grade class. He likes to play outside, no matter what the weather, and is our biggest fan of movies.

Calvin turned 8 one week ago, and for his birthday, he decided to get baptized! We are very proud of him. Calvin is our smartest child- just ask him! He loves math, puzzles and computer games. He also was quite good at gymnastics, and was on the boy’s team for a few weeks before the pressure became too much for him. He decided that was the end of his gymnastics career, leaving his mother in *sniff* tears. When asked what he wants to be when he grows up, he says, “You know that person at Wal-mart that says hello to everyone. . . .” We couldn’t be prouder of his decision ;)

Ivan turned 3 today!! Happy Birthday to him! Ivan made the big decision to potty-train HIMSELF this summer. Awesome decision, little guy. He is a fan of his big brother, Steven, and of movies, cereal and milk, and of Toy Story. We ALL are a big fan of Ivan!

Keith has decided to stick with his current job for at least another year. On that note, we are very grateful that he HAS a good job to stick with, in light of the current economic struggles of so many! Keith keeps very busy with his calling in church. He has also decided he likes to build and create, and spends many hours in the garage with his various projects. He still is a big fan of mountain climbing, and in his dreams we are living within driving distance of Mount Blanca in southern Colorado. . . . Maybe a decision for next year?

Candi, aka Mom, has deciding to continue to be a mom. After being accepted to the medical school at Marshall University last year, and then deferring the decision for another year, she has decided that her current energy level will only allow her to pursue one major. Medical school would have been the easy choice, in her opinion, but not at the expense of the family. She also decided against a future as a genetic counselor, due to some conflicting moral beliefs. Now, the big decision remains: another baby or are we done? Maybe adoption? (Keep your ears open for us)

The best decision we have made as a family is to continue to have faith in our Savior, whose influence guides us daily as we strive to improve and serve others. Please let us know if we can bless YOUR lives and families in any way. Much love,

The Schempp Family

                                      Emotions are running high . . . .

First things first.  I promised some priceless gems of household hints, so here is another one.
                                
                                        MOPPING THE FLOOR- CANDI STYLE

This one is my favorite, but since I only mop about 1x or 2x a month (aside from the daily wipe-ups of boy messes) I don't have any cool pics of this.
OK.  Take your favorite cleaner.  Mine is Fabuloso because it is purple and it smells nice.
Put a couple of tablespoons into a large, empty spray bottle.  Fill up the rest of the spray bottle with water.  Spray the mixture onto the floor (don't try this on wooden floors, please) until the floor looks completely misted.  This is the hardest part for me- I have arthritis in my fingers, so I have to switch the bottle from hand to hand to prevent hand cramping. 
Grab an old rag or towel, mid to large-sized, and spread it over any part of the floor you choose, preferably a corner.  Put both feet on the towel, about 8-10 inches apart, and start skating!!*  Skate over the whole floor, without lifting your feet from the towel.  By the time you are done, your towel will be filthy and wet, but your floor will be clean and almost dry.  Toss the towel in the laundry b/c you are done!
Not only is your floor clean, but your legs have gotten a great work out!

*I stole this idea from Pippi Longstocking- the coolest girl in books!


Now for some updates on my crazy life.

Madeleine- Coming home in 2 1/2 weeks, to stay.  It didn't work out so well for my parents or her to have her living there this past school year.  It worked out great for me, for a while.  Before all the guilt started to settle in my soul.  A bit more each day.  Until I was stumbling along in a guilt-induced stupor.  That I failed my daughter.  That I failed my parents by not doing my job at raising her well.
(Let's just keep going with the guilt, shall we?  I'm quite the expert)

MORE THINGS THAT I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT . . . .

That I can't just be content to be a stay-at-home mom for the the rest of my days on earth.
That I felt so devastated when first Eric quit gymnastics, and then Calvin had to quit b/c he was having anxiety attacks at practice (which I'm certain were my fault b/c I kept pushing him to do his sit-ups and push-ups and handstands each day, before TV time).
That not a single one of my children like to read.
That Steven is not interested in getting good grades (oh where did I go wrong?)
That I feel so much anger at my non-supportive family members who don't want me to go to med school.
That I want to go to medical school.
That I DON'T want to go to medical school (I'd rather curl up in a ball on my yellow chair, and read until sunrise, and then sleep all day long).
That I'm so angry with some of my best friends for deserting me, even though one of them had the worst thing in the world happen to her and I couldn't even think how to help her.
That I hate to cook.
That I love to eat.
That . . . I could go on and on and on.

BUT!!!!
When I push the guilt away, I start to look at ALL my blessings:

• I am a mother!!! I got to experience childbirth 6 times!!!!  I get to be the one that they all come to with their problems, and  good news. 
• I am a wife!! My husband loves me and needs me.  He has a steady, stable job, which I am SOOOO grateful for!  Plus, he has the best massage hands in the world.  Not kidding.
• I am a sister.  I love having siblings.  Yes, I get offended by them regularly, but I do my share of offending as well.  I love that forgiveness has never let me down, in either direction.
• I have been blessed with more opportunities than almost anyone that I know.  How many people get to choose between having another baby, going to medical school, or just keeping the status quo?  Not many.
• I am still able to pull myself out of my depressions without chemicals.  (not sure how long this will last, but I ain't throwin' in the proverbial towel, just yet)
•  I still have a little baby running around and giving me hugs and saying adorable things! (Technically, he will always be my baby, even when he's a teenager.  He better be still giving me hugs.)
• I will always be a wife and mother.  Eternally.  Forever.  Best thing EVER.

So, I recently was looking at genetic counseling again, b/c I was hating West Virginia (again) and wanting to move.  But I spoke with a gc yesterday and she suggested that I would be happier in the long run by becoming a physician.  If I go to medical school, that means I am done having babies.  I know I can always have more in the next life (and forever!) but my body and my heart are very sad with the idea that I am done.  My mind, not so much! 

Enough rambling.  We went to Edisto Beach a couple of weeks ago, and here are some pics:

WEEKLY HOUSEHOLD TIPS

So, I'm going to start blogging again, if anything just to give my mind something to do.  I am currently NOT in school, and won't be in school for quite a while.  Short version:

I got accepted into Marshall medical school, but I will be deferring matriculation until August 2011.  Soooo, I have a lot of time on my hands, and not a lot of motivation to do ANYTHING.

I am going for the record for how many books I can read in one year. 

Unfortunately for my intellect, I can't seem to choose anything to read,

other than MIND-NUMBING novels.

I trick myself into thinking that it will be OK.  After all,

someday I will be writing one of the aforementioned.

And it will happen.  It will.  It's on my bucket list.

Enough said about that.

So it came to me that I should get out of my rut, and practice my

AMAZING writing skills by contibuting to the betterment of society.

I will do this by providing weekly household tips for any other

stir-crazy housewife, or househusband who might be bored enough to bloglurk.

These tips are life-saving.  Maybe not life-saving, but DEFINITELY money and time saving.

Don't know why I want to save time, since I have more than I could EVER want.

Enought to use capitals.  Never had the time for them before. 

I might even learn how to change fonts.

But, I digress.

HOUSEHOLD TIP FOR THE WEEK:

This is a beauty tip for anyone over the age of 35 that is suffering from,

ahem *whisper* wrinkles.

I'm not talking about those character affirming fine lines, either.

You know, the ones that are oh so sexy on men with weathered skin. . . .

Oh, sorry.  I was thinking about Paul Hogan for a minute.

Did I just write that out loud?  Way to show my age.

OK, OK, I will get on it!  Hold your horses!

Here it is.

Go to Walmart.  Splurge on a roll of Scotch invisible tape.  Do NOT show this to

your children or you will have wasted your husbands hard earned money,

and then he won't even get to reap the benefits of your newly botoxed face.

I'm not sure I shouldn't just patent this idea, instead of freely posting it.

It's that good.

OK, but, remember, medical school is expensive.  Of course!  I will POSITIVELY

accept donations!  Ever so kind of you to ask!

Take a small length of tape, about 1/2 to 1 inch will do for each wrinkle.  Cut it

in half again, lengthwise, and round the corners, with scissors.

Not with the tape cutter on the dispenser.  Do you not realize how irritating

those little serrated edges can be?

So, place your wrinkle fighting weapon over each one of your DEEP

wrinkle lines, and VOILA!  Instant botox.

I calculate that you will pay about 2 cents per wrinkle/per week.

Now, their are a couple of important points to remember.

1.  Do NOT leave the house with your Scotch showing.

2.  Best to apply at night, right before bed.

3.  Do NOT forget to remove before showering.  The tape will come off and add to your

already clogging drain.  And then you will have to spend your free time

with a bottle of Drano, instead of looking in the mirror at your new,

wrinkle-free miracle of a face.

4.  Do this as many nights out of the week as your skin can stand.  Remove in the morning.

Especially useful on Saturday nights, so you can come to church looking

like a new woman (or man).

5.  Most importantly, please do not sue me if you get a horrible Scotch tape reaction.

Trust me.  You will not get a penny.  Instead, sue the Scotch tape company.

Whatever that's called.  They have money.  I know because I'm buying

up Scotch tape like crazy.  (I have a lot of wrinkles)

Stay tuned for next week's tip.

If I get adventurous, I may start doing weekly restaurant reviews.

Of course, they will only be relevant to local readers.  Of which I have none.

But, it will make me feel SOO much better to dis on the

Italian restaurant that brought my husband STILL FROZEN lasagna, TWICE! 

IN THE SAME EVENING!!!!

But, we're not bitter or anything.

Testing, 1,2,3, Testing.

An Ode to Calvin

I have a wonderful little boy named Calvin.  He says the most interesting things.  This summer, after I told him he could earn money to buy his own silly bands by doing chores, he says, "I am not the kid who likes to do chores", like, duh Mom!  Last week, when I asked him if he had done his homework yet, he says. . . (you guessed it) "I am not the kid who likes to do homework".  But he is the kid who likes to give hugs, smiles, and lovins, so I'm a very lucky mom!

We have a special man in our ward who has developed some health problems over the past couple of years.  He is no longer able to walk without his walker.  A few months ago, he came up to me and asked me what my son's name was, as he points out Calvin.  With tears in his eyes he thanks me for raising such a wonderful son.  He then tells me what had just transpired in the mens room: 

 This gentleman had just finished using the facilities, and came out to wash his hands.  Calvin was just finishing up washing his hands and goes to the door, and opens it.  He stays there with the door open for a couple of minutes and holds it open for the man when he was ready to leave. 

For some reason, he was so impressed that Calvin recognized another person's need and answered that need, at such a young age (Calvin is 6).  This wonderful man even shared this same story with the congregation, a couple of weeks later.  Keith and I were not surprised b/c we always knew we had a special boy, but it was sure nice to hear that he shows his good side to the rest of the world, too!  I made sure that I let this gentleman know that it had nothing to do with how Calvin was parented, but that he was just born with an extra loving heart.

Keith overheard him talking on Friday to his brother Eric, who is eight, about attending a girl's birthday party.  The conversation went like this:

Eric:  She might give out goody bags with girly stuff in them.

Calvin:  If she does that, I will very nicely and politely tell her that I don't really want any.  You have to be nice and polite to girls because if you don't, they get REALLY mad and yell.

So, our little 6 year old has already figured out the mysteries of the other sex.  Apparently, some kids were throwing rocks at recess, and Calvin told a girl that it was dangerous, and she had let him HAVE IT!  He's a quick learner.

My other children are wonderful, too, in their own way.  But, Calvin is just been a special bright spot in our family and we are so grateful that we have him!

                  What is the point of it all?

So this is the question I asked my now 15 year old son, Steven, as I am in the middle of a major funk.  His reply?  Well, there's always chocolate.

Chocolate is fabulous.  I have to melt on my tongue at least one Dove Dark Chocolate square a day in order to feel sane for 5 minutes.  It's the rest of the 23 hours and 55 minutes that I have yet to come to terms with!

Keith and I had some great plans laid out for the next 2-3 years (or at least I did, and he lovingly accepted them).  I was going to go to genetic counseling school, work for 1 year full-time, take the boards, and take a nice, kushy (sp?), part-time job doing work that I would love, and spend the rest of the time doting on my wonderful children, as they matured into hardworking, responsible, chore-doing, caring members of society.

So, that didn't happen.  I did not get accepted to any of the 7 schools I applied (got 4 interviews, did 3 of them, 2 denied me, 1 closed down their program).  Next, we decided to move to Utah.  We found the perfect house in the neighborhood where Keith's parents live.  We were going to buy it, have good friends of ours live there until they could get back on their feet, and move in after a year or two of paying off our currents debts.  Well, this didn't happen either, b/c apparently when buying a second home you need 20% down, and at least 5 of that has to have been sitting in your own bank account for at least 3 months.  We don't have 10 grand laying around right now (how shocking, I know).  And now our dear friends are not able to move to Utah right now, either.

So, I'm currently still kicking around the med school idea, but I just don't feel that drive that I used to have.  I think that what the Lord is trying to tell me right now is that I need to stay home and be the mother that I haven't been while I've been in school.  The past 6 months, the ugly bipolar has reared it's head in a vicious way.  My oldest has become unrecognizable:  skipping school for weeks in a row, blatantly defying us when we ask for help around the house, and spending hours in bed texting and listening to her ipod (which she did buy with her own money, after all).  Eric, who is 8, is being home schooled, but the minute the other kids get home, until he goes to a medicated sleep at 8pm, tortures them mercilessly with his picking, taunting, teasing, and throwing things.  When he is reprimanded for those behaviors, he turns on me and whines, screams, and yells for the next couple  of hours.

What we need is the Nanny!  Unfortunately WV does not even have licensed family therapists.  The next best option is counseling, which we are starting in  2 weeks.  It can't come soon enough!  Meanwhile, I am trying to hold it all together and not feel like I'm the lead contestant for the Bad Mother of the Year Award.

The good news:  Steven is doing well, Calvin successfully completed (almost) his first year of school, and baby Ivan is eating solids (mostly).  Allison's seizures have declined in number, but increased in intensity.  As a 13 year old, she is now wearing (oh the horror) a brassiere!

You know that show, Mommy swap?  I want on that.  Not really, but if I have any volunteers to take on a piece of my load . . .

A few recent pics (from my new phone- baby broke my old one, and Maddy and Eric broke the camera, while fighting over it).