Emotions are running high . . . .

First things first.  I promised some priceless gems of household hints, so here is another one.
                                
                                        MOPPING THE FLOOR- CANDI STYLE

This one is my favorite, but since I only mop about 1x or 2x a month (aside from the daily wipe-ups of boy messes) I don't have any cool pics of this.
OK.  Take your favorite cleaner.  Mine is Fabuloso because it is purple and it smells nice.
Put a couple of tablespoons into a large, empty spray bottle.  Fill up the rest of the spray bottle with water.  Spray the mixture onto the floor (don't try this on wooden floors, please) until the floor looks completely misted.  This is the hardest part for me- I have arthritis in my fingers, so I have to switch the bottle from hand to hand to prevent hand cramping. 
Grab an old rag or towel, mid to large-sized, and spread it over any part of the floor you choose, preferably a corner.  Put both feet on the towel, about 8-10 inches apart, and start skating!!*  Skate over the whole floor, without lifting your feet from the towel.  By the time you are done, your towel will be filthy and wet, but your floor will be clean and almost dry.  Toss the towel in the laundry b/c you are done!
Not only is your floor clean, but your legs have gotten a great work out!

*I stole this idea from Pippi Longstocking- the coolest girl in books!


Now for some updates on my crazy life.

Madeleine- Coming home in 2 1/2 weeks, to stay.  It didn't work out so well for my parents or her to have her living there this past school year.  It worked out great for me, for a while.  Before all the guilt started to settle in my soul.  A bit more each day.  Until I was stumbling along in a guilt-induced stupor.  That I failed my daughter.  That I failed my parents by not doing my job at raising her well.
(Let's just keep going with the guilt, shall we?  I'm quite the expert)

MORE THINGS THAT I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT . . . .

That I can't just be content to be a stay-at-home mom for the the rest of my days on earth.
That I felt so devastated when first Eric quit gymnastics, and then Calvin had to quit b/c he was having anxiety attacks at practice (which I'm certain were my fault b/c I kept pushing him to do his sit-ups and push-ups and handstands each day, before TV time).
That not a single one of my children like to read.
That Steven is not interested in getting good grades (oh where did I go wrong?)
That I feel so much anger at my non-supportive family members who don't want me to go to med school.
That I want to go to medical school.
That I DON'T want to go to medical school (I'd rather curl up in a ball on my yellow chair, and read until sunrise, and then sleep all day long).
That I'm so angry with some of my best friends for deserting me, even though one of them had the worst thing in the world happen to her and I couldn't even think how to help her.
That I hate to cook.
That I love to eat.
That . . . I could go on and on and on.

BUT!!!!
When I push the guilt away, I start to look at ALL my blessings:

• I am a mother!!! I got to experience childbirth 6 times!!!!  I get to be the one that they all come to with their problems, and  good news. 
• I am a wife!! My husband loves me and needs me.  He has a steady, stable job, which I am SOOOO grateful for!  Plus, he has the best massage hands in the world.  Not kidding.
• I am a sister.  I love having siblings.  Yes, I get offended by them regularly, but I do my share of offending as well.  I love that forgiveness has never let me down, in either direction.
• I have been blessed with more opportunities than almost anyone that I know.  How many people get to choose between having another baby, going to medical school, or just keeping the status quo?  Not many.
• I am still able to pull myself out of my depressions without chemicals.  (not sure how long this will last, but I ain't throwin' in the proverbial towel, just yet)
•  I still have a little baby running around and giving me hugs and saying adorable things! (Technically, he will always be my baby, even when he's a teenager.  He better be still giving me hugs.)
• I will always be a wife and mother.  Eternally.  Forever.  Best thing EVER.

So, I recently was looking at genetic counseling again, b/c I was hating West Virginia (again) and wanting to move.  But I spoke with a gc yesterday and she suggested that I would be happier in the long run by becoming a physician.  If I go to medical school, that means I am done having babies.  I know I can always have more in the next life (and forever!) but my body and my heart are very sad with the idea that I am done.  My mind, not so much! 

Enough rambling.  We went to Edisto Beach a couple of weeks ago, and here are some pics: